Wow, it’s been a little while. I think about writing often, and there really have been things that I’ve wanted to say and talk about… But right now my life is rolling REALLY well, and that means that I move a lot and I keep going and I keep doing things. I’ve started carving out more time for sleep, reading, and just sitting still – again, that doesn’t leave time for much else. The unfortunate result is that my writing has been put on the back burner. But as I continue to grow in this new year – new in more than one sense of the word – I definitely plan to keep making and carving out time to do some writing here and there… whether it be here to share my lessons and thoughts, or a couple paragraphs in a more fiction type sense. (Which no, I’m not anywhere near considering sharing, just yet.)
I do truly feel like I have been reborn. Most of me is the same as I was before the slump / depression / whatever you want to call it… but some of me is definitely different. First of all, I have a greater and renewed sense of appreciation for those that struggle mentally on a regular basis. I’ve been surrounded by these people for most of my life, whether I knew it or not, and now I treat everybody as if they are going through some sort of struggle and could therefore use a kind word. The amount of support I received while going through my short depression blew me away. And I know now how good it feels when someone just talks to you and tells you that they understand or tells you that they care, or tells you that it’s okay that you are not at your best.
Secondly, that period was very isolating for me. I did reach out to people on occasion, and people did ask me if I was okay along the way… But overall there was definitely a feeling of loneliness. Coming into 2020 I am definitely on a mission to simply *connect* with as many people as I possibly can. Even just talking to strangers and starting up a casual chat in a moment here or there can make a huge difference in a person’s life – not only theirs, but my own as well. The end result is usually a smile on peoples’ faces. In this age of electronics and constant stimulation and always ‘on the go’, it truly feels amazing to take a moment or two, at the least – and sometimes even more time than you had planned – to simply stop and chat with someone. Maybe that person is a stranger, maybe that person is a business associate or a co-worker, maybe that person is the best friend you haven’t talked to in some time – the point is to simply talk to other people without an agenda. To simply CONNECT. Because as much as people can use an encouraging word when they are struggling, they also will benefit from simply talking to another human being on their best day.
Third, I am re-evaluating my approach to having drive versus giving myself grace. I am a type A personality that thrives on competition and striving to be the best. And yet I know that my body and my mind need rest as well, and that I need to not always be so hard on myself, critical or judgemental – especially on the days where I maybe did not do quite as well as I thought I could (no matter what aspect of my life that is in). I definitely still have goals and dreams and plan on kicking ass… but it feels very different now than before. It’s almost as if now I’m both more and less attached to the outcome, because it is so much more about the journey now and keeping myself healthy every step of the way.
I will **always be motivational to the people around me, even if I’m taking an off day or having an off week or not feeling MY best – I will always help push others to be the best that THEY can be. That much I learned, when I tried to step away/ step back. Not being inspirational just didn’t feel right.
Due to that, I’ve been doing some thinking about my “Life Purpose” – and I think that’s probably best left for a separate post. Also, better left until I’ve actually dug into it a bit more – right now I’ve just committed to myself that I will “work on it”.
Overall, life is good – and so much more so because it had been bad. The level of gratitude is REAL in my life right now, and it’s a great place to be. I’m definitely excited about where 2020 will take me – stay tuned! 🙂