Taylor’s new song “Patient Zero” came out today and I couldn’t help but think about my ex. Then I saw this graphic later in the day and it was like, YEP!
Over the past 6 years I’ve gotten MUCH better about talking about things, about sharing, and about encouraging others to not tolerate a bad situation. It doesn’t matter the age, the casual-ness or permanence of the relationship – if it’s not STELLAR girl, then it doesn’t deserve your energy!
I was 42 when I left a 10 year marriage. It was life changing, in many ways. It’s scary. You question everything you do. Yes, there was pain, guilt, fear, confusion, and grief. Some days there is still a bit – even though I’m SO over it! After all, it was my 2nd divorce, and “The Big Black D” on your “record” leaves a mark no matter what.
And… *actually leaving* really IS a powerful act of self love. Saving yourself is the ultimate, and reclaiming yourself after is the best feeling. That’s why nowadays, I try to tell as many people as possible that while it IS scary, it’s worth it. It’s not the end of the world. You WILL be better off, no matter what age you are – you CAN start your life over AND make a great life for yourself. Really really. 😉
“So if you wanna kick it, then I’m with it, I’ve been there
Felt the reeling, done the healing, said the curses and prayers
When the fever turns a dreamer into a pathetic ghost
If he’s killing you, I see you, I was patient zero”