Oh man. Right here. Where in the world is HERE, right NOW?
I was having good days. Then I had bad days. Today is back to good. Freaking roller coaster. I feel like when I’m in a good day, I need to live it up cuz I have no idea what I’ll wake up like tomorrow.
I even told my husband that. He said I seem happy today, that it’s good I’m doing better. I couldn’t resist, I said, “well, enjoy it, cuz I can’t guarantee I’ll wake up this way.”
#sigh
This all just seems so crazy, given how 2019 was going. Like, holy crap, I accomplished a LOT in 2019. Racing PRs, a solo OCR course, promotions, earning a (mostly) free vacation. Like, blessed beyond blessed, I’m speechless and grateful and then some.
And now, I don’t know if I’m going to wake up wanting anything to do with the world.
What. The. Eff.
One of my favorite TV shows had a line that mentioned feeling like “King Kong on steroids” – lately that’s almost what I feel like, when it’s a good day. World, watch out. I need to do laundry. And work my side hustle. And cook. And clean. And play with the kids….
OMG! Me n Kid #3 had the most awesome nerf war tonight!! 😁
Then…. Screw it. I don’t even want to brush my teeth. Or my hair. Or who gives a crap if the sink – both sinks – is full of dishes or there’s laundry or the bathrooms are dirty or the caged animal’s cage smells from the other side of the room. Cats? Eh, they’re fat. They’ll be fine til morning. To do list? Pffffft. I’d much rather just lay down n go to bed.
Am I manic depressive? Is that what this is like? Is it just seasonal? Is it menopause? Am I just being a baby? Am I overstressed? Burnt out? Just a typical mom of 3 busy kids …??
#sigh
Roller coaster. Stupid crazy roller coaster. N I’m too old for roller coasters anymore. They hurt my back or my neck, & I close my eyes. I can’t get off this one though, so I guess I better just hold on for dear life, right?
That and open my eyes a peek every now and then, otherwise I’d miss the impromptu nerf wars 😉🙏